Hopefully, I will get to write a chain of parenting tips for myself, guess why, guys are egoistic *another aphorism post coming up*, so egoistic that the last thing you want to tell him is advice to take care of his children. :)
So I am just writing but I pray that if I chance upon this I will try it or serve as a guideline to follow it.
So let's get to it... *argh so many wrong things to say*
So, as we all know, parents are such good people, they brought you life and they control it like it's theirs. (hehehe)
What I think/feel: (As usual, this might/must be wrong) Parents must be responsible, they must have a plan for their children, must be aware (most definitely in all aspects aware), they have lived life, although in a different era, you could still choose to note down your life experience. Parents must know the different phases of life, and must be aware of what is going through their child's thoughts in order to prepare for and react to whatever is coming, and most probably that will be a great variable. They will always get it wrong, but its definitely always good to forsee. Some parents will go through all the phases in life and totally ignore all those experiences and feelings at each phase. I feel that is critical to get to know your child better, interact with them since young so there won't be or there will be less of the "awkward feeling" to talk about "sensitive things". They must undeniably face the facts that their child need to go through all these phases, they must understand the erratic nature of human being, more so a teenager. To conclude, maybe just maybe they could care LESS. Of course its hard, nothing comes easy. But I'm not asking to control his/her every breathe, just exposing him/her to everything so he/she knows and (most crucial) is to understand that it is wrong and why its forbidden and aspects of law and maybe even religion. Well of course I'm talking about the bad things in life. Rather than make them curious (man, I hate this word, but it is revolutionary if put to the right place) and experience it for themselves, parents need to talk to them, yes communication, you thing communicating to your other half is hard? Try talking to the mini-YOU. Now, its a challenge but, you've decided to settle down, and pick this up, so you might as well do a good job at it.
Now let's start to the basics. Life is good, it always is. For the rest who say otherwise, contemplating suiciders, chill. That's the first thing you need to do... Life can actually be good at a different view, there's still hope, master your mind then we'll talk life. :)
Now, let's continue with early basics of life. Choices, maturity, light. Keywords I feel/think are important. Basics of life highly influenced by parents, (heaven's sake, I'm talking like my father and I realised that) (Let me just say that, i'm far from being mature, always till making the wrong choices and only God know for sure if I got the light)
Variables variables variables, there's no perfect formula for anything. LOOK, tatoo-ed arms parents with an pious child AND pious parents 24hrs @ a worship place with a wicked one right there. (Just to show facts of variables)
But closest you can get is be prepared, keep an open mind, be ready for a boom.
Best saying is hope/expect the best and prepare for the worst.
Now back to parenting, parents are super scared (what I feel/think), they need to chill. Period.
Yes, they are the parents and with a strict tone of voice, I must do whatever he/she says right then and there. See, I will do it, but not with a heart of wanting to do it. You want to ace at parenting? Get your child to do something you want by her/his own heart, surely he/she will overdeliver. With zero parenting knowledge, I can say parents are scared, to lose this power they have over their children, chill mates, we are going lose anyway, why not lead us there instead of making us struggle for it, and furthermore hating you at the same time. (By now maybe you are thinking, I got issues, I'm generalising, not my life story)
Parents will always be right, and they always think they deserve to be, just because they know they are parents. Some humility please. Tell your children what you are afraid of, let them sympathize for/to you. Let them love you. Most of all, let them know you are human. :)
Extending trust is another issue i'd like to blabber about. Milestones, let them go, free them with your own will, educate them, this will be for this time, although it'll feel like a robot, and law (no application for a class 3 till 18yrs old) i've mentioned, take note what they like to do, be at ease for them to share their thoughts, and this will come after a long lasting strong relationship with your child. Never oppose openly, always compromise but (take into consideration other aspects including religion), never give a straight answer according to your emotion as a "PARENT", don't abuse the power of choice over a little voice. Like i mention, as you are human, say "You will think about it". At least while you are thinking, she/he is thinking as well. Balance pros/cons, and wa laa. Tell her/him, reasons, appoint limits, consequences, be clear. Tell him your worries upfront. Make sure he understands you and love will flow in once again.
Enough talk about parents. Let's talk about the wicked one, that's us. Give parents a break! It's still ultimately your choice to choose to be like them or be who you want to be. In a child, interest and happiness is keywords. They usually tend to do things that interest them and also make them happy. Well in the long run, happiness prevail. End of the day, you'll only do what you are happy to do. Period. You can endure all your life with unhappiness, and you'll start living once there's a big smile on your face.
Interest plays a big part in your life, so much so that you might be here (having a life) for that sole purpose.
(Pending more stuff)
-interest, influence, how to guide them, expose them accordingly, freedom of speech, how the feel towards what. make them experience, share your pain. let them experience themselves practical analogy, hot boiling pot, show them your concerns openly, make them understand, love them, ...
